Can Exes Really Be Friends?


I’ve only had one boyfriend in my life so far. I know, shocking! People tend to think that I’m always in some kind of relationship, or, that lots of guys fill up my DMs with messages, (Someone said that to me the other day LOL), or that my best friend is my boyfriend. But that’s just not the case. 

Yes, I’ve been on dates, dated people for 3 months or so, but it hasn’t really worked out, so hence the fact that I say I’ve only had one boyfriend.

The relationship started when  I was about 19 I think, there wasn’t any animosity or anything towards this person, it just didn’t work out. We were just very different. He’s a really nice guy though.I’m 28 now and throughout all that time we still remain friends. 

He tried to get back together with me around 2015, but I told him no. I don’t believe in getting back together with your ex. I know, I sound harsh, but I believe that when you break up with someone, you break up with them for a reason. If you get back together with them, most likely, the problem will still remain. That’s just my belief. 

Yes, so exes can be friends. Is it difficult? For me it’s not, I mean we don’t talk all the time. but we do every now and then. And we haven’t hung out in years. We used to hang out though, a lot because we generally have the same friends. Was it awkward? At times yes, but as I said before, he’s a nice guy and there was no animosity.

And he’s not my best friend, but he’s someone that I can talk to. The relationship wasn’t a long one, so it’s not like I was madly deeply in love with him or anything like that

 I like knowing how his life is going and I want to know that he is doing well in life because he’s my friend.And he’s been someone who has been there for me. Has there been times where I think about, “What if we were together?” Yes, but as I said I’m not one to go back to an ex.

This is not the case for everyone though. Some people believe that you should cut your ex off. I don’t. As long as you have boundaries, I think everything is fine. If I was in a relationship, then I might think differently. If I was in a relationship, I probably wouldn’t be friendly with my ex. But to each his own.

My conclusion? Everyone has different relationships with people. Some people can never be friends with their exes because the relationship was toxic or abusive. 

For me though, I like to keep things positive. And every now and  then I want to know that they’re ok. Maybe I care about people too much? I don’t know. but I’m always myself and no one can ever say that I’m not being myself. And yes, we are really just friends, nothing more.

I would say though, to always reassess how the friendship makes you feel. If it’s not working out, cut it off. And always have boundaries because they are very important.

Yes ,so this is my little story time today.What did you think? Are you friends with your exes or no? Is it a good idea to be friends with your ex?


How To Get Over Someone

We’ve all been there, crying over Tom, or Harry, thinking that we will never get over them. Thinking that our life is over. Sounds familiar? Relationships are hard, whether it’s a friendship, or romantic. Breakups are even harder. It’s tough getting over someone, especially when the relationship was good. How do you cope without this person when they were such a big part of your life?

Today, I want to give you some tips that have helped me get over someone, whether it was a relationship or friendship.

  • Delete their Number – This is the best way to get over someone. It shows finality. Now you can’t call them because their number is no longer in your phone and you can get over them quickly.
  • See Things For What They are – Look Harry wasn’t the best for you ok? He was a shitty person, but you were so in love with him, you couldn’t see it. Tom wasn’t nice to you, he used your emotions against you. The faster you realize this, and see things for what they are, the easier you’ll be able to get over that person.
  • Focus on Something Else – This one is really big. Put down the phone, stop stalking his instagram page and focus on something else. What hobbies do you have? Do you draw? What about that project that you said you were going to finish but didn’t. The more you focus on other things, the less time you will have thinking about that person who broke your heart. Eventually, they’ll fade away from your mind.

I’ve had a lot of heartbreaks in friendships as well as  from rejection. It’s not easy, you feel like your whole world is crashing down. You feel like your world is just ending. It sucks!

But you know what? You live and you learn. Heartbreak is apart of life. Life isn’t always going to be sunshine and roses. The person who you like is not always going to like you back. The person you’re in love with isn’t always going to be your boyfriend. Jessica won’t always be your best friend. It’s just life!

It also teaches me that everything happens for a reason. Maybe Johnny isn’t the person you’re supposed to be with. Maybe Pam isn’t supposed to be your best friend for life. That guy that rejected you? Maybe he wasn’t meant to be in your life. Not everything is meant to be, you know?

Love isn’t everything. Finding a best friend for life isn’t everything. There’s more to life than having a boyfriend or a best friend.

Live your life. Do the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Focus on yourself. Life is too short to stress over things that aren’t going to matter in the end.

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Story Time : Dating in 2018

Who watches Bachelor in Paradise? Did you see the finale? Yes, I know that it’s a reality tv show but I couldn’t help but say to myself “Wow I can relate”. Dating these days isn’t what it used to be, it makes me feel disgusted to be honest. Dating in 2018 is like stabbing yourself repeatedly with a butter knife…. Harsh but true… Keep reading to find out why


So lets dissect these guys in this age

1.These guys just want to hook up – Guys these days don’t even want to get to know you, they just want to get in your pants. About 2 months ago, I went on a first date with this guy, and all he kept talking about was sex, sex, sex. I was so disgusted and turned off. I just deleted his number afterwards.

2. They tell you you’re great and you’re the best thing, but they still don’t want you – I remember watching Kevin from Bachelor in Paradise telling Astrid that she was the best but he still broke up with her. Then she said “I’m so tired of guys saying that they like me so much and I’m the best but they always end up breaking up with me”. I was like “Yass I can relate”.I mean  just shut up and don’t say anything. I’d rather not hear that bs, thank you. Guys say this to me so much.

3. They don’t make any effort –  Don’t ask me out if you’re not going to make the effort. Just forget the thought. If you’re not going to take me out on dates, pick me up, show some effort then don’t bother. If you feel lazy, then don’t bother asking me out. What’s the point? I want someone who shows me that he likes me.  This guy told me recently that he felt too lazy to pick me up for a date, so I said to him don’t bother. I mean why?

4. Guys in 2018 are players – I mean guys in every age are players but in 2018 it seems more rampant. A couple of months ago I invited this guy I was seeing to Afro fest Mind you, he claimed to be really into me, so I decided to give him a chance. He said he would be there by 5pm but I waited till 6 to ask him where he was. Then he said he was 20 mins away. I waited until 9 pm  and he still didn’t show up. Then I left the fest. When I came home, he didn’t provide and explanation or anything.  And then the next day I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. Then he called me and claimed that he lost his wallet and “Oh I thought you were enjoying the fest, I didn’t think you would want to see me”. My conclusion was that he was there hooking up with other girls.

5. Guys in 2018 are Assholes – Do you guys remember when Kamil broke up with Annaliese for Bachelor In Paradise over national TV. What kind of asshole move was that? One guy called me a bitch after he was trying to lecture me about stupidness and I told him not to yell at me. It’s like could you wait to show your bad side? I just met you.

Disclaimer – I’m not saying ALL guys are like this, but  some of the ones that I’ve gone out with are like this.

Yes, so this is Dating in 2018, for me. Maybe it’s great for you guys but for me it hasn’t been. But I’m happy for these experiences. They’ve taught me so much about myself and what I want.

And yes, I know some people might be saying, “Oh you’re so picky”, but you know what? I don’t care. You SHOULD be picky, not everyone should get to know you. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.


Ad if someone isn’t treating you right Kick them to the Curb. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Because in the end you’re only going to hurt yourself

And yes, I know I sound entitled as hell but I don’t care. YOU SHOW PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. People will only treat you bad if you allow them.

And don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting the best.

Also, sometimes you see red flags and sometimes you don’t, but again these are all lessons. Lessons that will help you grow and figure out the kind of person that You Do Want.

Conclusion – Dating in 2018 sucks. Maybe I should build myself a time machine and go back to the 90’s when guys used to be gentlemen and open doors for Women. Do guys like that even exist in today’s age? I can only hope, for my sake, LOL. I’m not worried though, I have all the time in the world, there’s no rush.

Did you enjoy this post? Comment below. Let me know what you think.


I know I’ve kinda been slacking on this part of my blog but with Work, youtube, creating looks for my fashion blog etc, it has been a lot. And I’ve also been really depressed for the past 2 weeks but I’m feeling a lot better now. I just want to be honest with you all.


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Random Thoughts : Is Ghosting Ever OK?

Is Ghosting ever OK? Do you know what ghosting is?Have you ever been Ghosted before?For those who are unfamiliar with the term ,”Ghosting” (Maybe you live under a rock?),  is the act, of suddenly ceasing communication with someone the subject is dating but no longer wishes to date, according to the Urban Dictionary.

So now it’s Story time!

I once went out with this guy, (I won’t give out his name, I know how ya’ll are nosey). I really liked him and I don’t like a lot of guys that much. He was the sweetest, kindest person. I initially didn’t like him, because he wasn’t really my type, but he would always compliment me on my style and he would always flirt with me. Then I observed that we seemed to have a lot in common, so I decided to give him a chance.

We would spend hours just talking on the phone and it would never get boring. I felt like he just got me, you know?. Ladies, have you ever felt that way before?

We would text and call each other all the time, but then he just ghosted me. How did I know he ghosted me? Well, I texted him one day, and no answer, then I texted on the weekend, no answer. I even texted him a week later, just to make sure, but still no response.

I was so hurt because I really did like him a lot and I could see us going longterm. I guess I was the only one thinking that?

He didn’t respond till 6 months later. To say that I was surprised, is an understatement. I was like, “What? Who is this?”. I asked him why he did it, and he said “It had nothing to do with you, just some personal issues”. I told him that him ghosting me made me really sad and to never do it again. And we went out again after that because I forgave him but it didn’t last, but that story, is for another time

How did it make me feel? Really sad because I felt like this guy, just really wasted my time and my biggest pet peeve is people wasting my time. I felt really inadequate, like I wasn’t enough. I really felt like I wasn’t even worth a goodbye.

How did I recover? I just decided to move on with my life and forget about him. Because if he had really cared about me, he would have never done that to me. I just decided to focus on other things.

Is it ever Ok to ghost someone you’re dating or anyone for that matter? I don’t think so. Yeah, everyone has issues, everyone is going through some difficult time. Yes I get that everyone handles situations differently, but what about treating people with respect? What about communicating?

It’s like this generation doesn’t know how to communicate anymore. We hide how we feel, and expect people to read our minds, but guess what? Only God can read minds, remember that.

And yes, I get that you might be going through stuff and you might want to use ghosting as a form of escapism, but let the person know. You know, just say to your significant other, “Hun, I’m not trying to be rude, but I need some time out”, or something. Don’t just leave someone in the dark not knowing what’s going on.

Hint : We won’t get the hint that you’re no longer interested until you tell us. So ghosting is an absolute waste of time. If you ghost people, you’re an ass. Yeah, I said it. So immature!

I know that him ghosting me, had nothing to do with me, I get that, but maybe give ya girl a warning before hand?

I think ghosting is really selfish. If you no longer like the person, tell them. If you want some alone time, tell them.

Lack of communication is why there are so many issues in the world today. That’s why there are so many instances of divorce all over.Be open, be sincere. If you don’t like someone, speak up.

Don’t leave someone in the dark because of your selfish ways.

I’m just sharing my experience with ghosting today XOXO

Have you ever been ghosted before? How did it make you feel?

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