Advice : How to Find Your Purpose

fullsizeoutput_1df4.jpeg“Finding my purpose was so easy”, said no one ever. I mean, if it was so easy everyone would know what they wanted to do. Everyone would be happy. But, finding your purpose can be a struggle for most of us, sometimes, it takes years to figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. Today, I want to give some advice on How to Find Your Purpose.

First, let’s define the word “Purpose”. According to Dictionary.com, purpose is defined as, “The reason for which something exists or is done‘. So some questions to ask yourself is, “What’s important to me?” and “What can I do with my time?”

Here are some tips to figure out what’s Important to you which will lead you to your purpose hopefully

  1. Find your passion – I truly believe that your passion leads you to your purpose. What were you interested in as a boy or girl? Was it music? Was it poetry? For me, creating has always been my passion since I was a little girl, you would always see me drawing clothes and creating stuff. My parents have always wanted me to go into other fields though, and I’ve tried, but they just aren’t for me. My other passions also include helping people, which I hope this blog does.
  2. You have to be able to make a sacrifice – So if you want to be a Doctor are you willing to stay up all night studying? Are you willing to sacrifice going out with your friends to draw that painting? Nothing in life comes easy, so if you want something you have to be willing to work overtime for it.
  3. What keeps you up at night? – I’m always on my phone, even late at night. You could say that I’m addicted to my phone. But I’ve found what’s behind being on my phone is my need for self improvement. I’m always reading blogs and watching videos on how to improve myself, strategizing etc. Always reading about stuff that will help me improve my skills. Reading books on my phone has helped me become a better writer, and Instagram has helped me learn to market myself. Look, 2 weeks ago I didn’t know how to edit videos for Youtube. Now with these tips I’m on my way to becoming my own boss. I’m also now taking a marketing class online to improve my skills.
  4. Get to doing Stuff – Yes, you’re passionate about Writing, or doing hair but what have you done? When’s the last time you wrote something? I mean, it’s good to have passions but it’s what you do with them that matters. Stop talking and start doing.
  5. You have to be willing to embarrass yourself and learn how to handle failure – Look, when I started this blog I had no clue on what I was doing. I asked some of my friends for feedback and some of them said, “Yo, this is bad” but that didn’t stop me. My first Youtube video was a disaster but I just laughed at myself and continued. Also when I started no one really read my blog, yes, I felt discouraged at first but that just propelled me to work even harder.

Some people are very fortunate to know what they want to do from the moment  they can talk. For many others though, it’s a struggle. And sometimes parents don’t help because they want to force their dreams on their kids.

What did you want to be when you were a little boy or girl? What do you want your legacy to be when you leave this world?

Purpose =What’s Important to You

Don’t live your life living someone else’s purpose. Live your Own.

Finding your purpose is simply finding something that defines you, something that fulfills you, something that you would stay up all night for.

But Purpose requires action. So that Book that you’ve been thinking about writing? Start writing! Even if it’s in your journal. Want to become the next Justin Bieber? Start making Youtube covers.Work on your craft everyday. And look, if you’re worried that your passion won’t gain you any money, everything can be monetized in this age of social media.

The point is, start somewhere. The only thing we have really, is time.

Hopefully these tips will help someone, I don’t have it all figured out but I’m learning and sharing as I go.

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Story Time : Dating in 2018

Who watches Bachelor in Paradise? Did you see the finale? Yes, I know that it’s a reality tv show but I couldn’t help but say to myself “Wow I can relate”. Dating these days isn’t what it used to be, it makes me feel disgusted to be honest. Dating in 2018 is like stabbing yourself repeatedly with a butter knife…. Harsh but true… Keep reading to find out why

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So lets dissect these guys in this age

1.These guys just want to hook up – Guys these days don’t even want to get to know you, they just want to get in your pants. About 2 months ago, I went on a first date with this guy, and all he kept talking about was sex, sex, sex. I was so disgusted and turned off. I just deleted his number afterwards.

2. They tell you you’re great and you’re the best thing, but they still don’t want you – I remember watching Kevin from Bachelor in Paradise telling Astrid that she was the best but he still broke up with her. Then she said “I’m so tired of guys saying that they like me so much and I’m the best but they always end up breaking up with me”. I was like “Yass I can relate”.I mean  just shut up and don’t say anything. I’d rather not hear that bs, thank you. Guys say this to me so much.

3. They don’t make any effort –  Don’t ask me out if you’re not going to make the effort. Just forget the thought. If you’re not going to take me out on dates, pick me up, show some effort then don’t bother. If you feel lazy, then don’t bother asking me out. What’s the point? I want someone who shows me that he likes me.  This guy told me recently that he felt too lazy to pick me up for a date, so I said to him don’t bother. I mean why?

4. Guys in 2018 are players – I mean guys in every age are players but in 2018 it seems more rampant. A couple of months ago I invited this guy I was seeing to Afro fest Mind you, he claimed to be really into me, so I decided to give him a chance. He said he would be there by 5pm but I waited till 6 to ask him where he was. Then he said he was 20 mins away. I waited until 9 pm  and he still didn’t show up. Then I left the fest. When I came home, he didn’t provide and explanation or anything.  And then the next day I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. Then he called me and claimed that he lost his wallet and “Oh I thought you were enjoying the fest, I didn’t think you would want to see me”. My conclusion was that he was there hooking up with other girls.

5. Guys in 2018 are Assholes – Do you guys remember when Kamil broke up with Annaliese for Bachelor In Paradise over national TV. What kind of asshole move was that? One guy called me a bitch after he was trying to lecture me about stupidness and I told him not to yell at me. It’s like could you wait to show your bad side? I just met you.

Disclaimer – I’m not saying ALL guys are like this, but  some of the ones that I’ve gone out with are like this.

Yes, so this is Dating in 2018, for me. Maybe it’s great for you guys but for me it hasn’t been. But I’m happy for these experiences. They’ve taught me so much about myself and what I want.

And yes, I know some people might be saying, “Oh you’re so picky”, but you know what? I don’t care. You SHOULD be picky, not everyone should get to know you. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.

YOU DESERVE THE BEST!Remember that!

Ad if someone isn’t treating you right Kick them to the Curb. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Because in the end you’re only going to hurt yourself

And yes, I know I sound entitled as hell but I don’t care. YOU SHOW PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. People will only treat you bad if you allow them.

And don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting the best.

Also, sometimes you see red flags and sometimes you don’t, but again these are all lessons. Lessons that will help you grow and figure out the kind of person that You Do Want.

Conclusion – Dating in 2018 sucks. Maybe I should build myself a time machine and go back to the 90’s when guys used to be gentlemen and open doors for Women. Do guys like that even exist in today’s age? I can only hope, for my sake, LOL. I’m not worried though, I have all the time in the world, there’s no rush.

Did you enjoy this post? Comment below. Let me know what you think.

 

I know I’ve kinda been slacking on this part of my blog but with Work, youtube, creating looks for my fashion blog etc, it has been a lot. And I’ve also been really depressed for the past 2 weeks but I’m feeling a lot better now. I just want to be honest with you all.

XOXO

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