Tag Archives: #mentalhealth #depression

Random Thoughts : How does Social Media Really Make you feel?

 

fullsizeoutput_157eDo you spend a lot of time on social media or none at all? Do you spend hours scrolling through Facebook checking out what Sandy is doing? How does it make you feel? Do you feel happy, do you feel sad? Does it make you feel anxious or calm? I’ve had my issues with social media in the past, and it stinks. Keep reading to find out more about my history with social media. Story Time!

I first signed up for Facebook, maybe in 2009, I wasn’t one of those people who was into social media, it was as if it didn’t exist to me. I preferred face to face contact, but my friends roped me into getting it, so I eventually caved and signed up. Bro, I became so addicted. It was like Facebook became my life. It was annoying actually, even when there was nothing on it, I’d be online. Don’t get me started on Instagram. Whew Chile!

I started to see the negative effects that social media had on my psyche in 2015. I would be on Facebook seeing people going on vacations, living their best life, or what appeared to be their best life, and I would start to feel so depressed. I started to feel less than. I felt like I had nothing going on in my life. Sometimes I would hide people’s posts so I wouldn’t have to see what they were doing. It was a really tough time for me.

Eventually, decided to deactivate my Facebook for a whole year. I chose Facebook because this was where everyone would be posting the most back then. I didn’t deactivate Instagram but I began to post less. That year, was very therapeutic for me. I learned to focus on my own life and find joy in that. There was so much that I missed out on, simply because I was so focused on Facebook.

During that year I learned  enjoy moments more and be present. It was so refreshing! That’s when I think I developed my love for photography.

After the year, I felt better about social media, so I decided to reactive my Facebook account and I started posting on Instagram again. I had a better relationship with social media. I didn’t let other people’s posts affect how I felt about myself. I felt great.I feel great even now. Now I can log into any social media platforms and feel fine.

The lesson in all this? Don’t compare your life to others. You don’t know their backstory, you don’t know how they got there. Comparison only makes you feel sick. Everyone is on a different journey. Some people have to work extremely hard, some people have parents who help them out, some people are rich, some people have sugar daddies. Haha.Or, some people just pretend to have it all together. Your journey is your own, focus on your own path and build on that.

Also,it’s good to unplug sometimes. I’m not saying to do a year like I did. Unplug for a couple hours, or a day. Go out in nature. Enjoy life. Be present. Something that I try to do when I go out with friends is, to be off my phone. I only really go on, if I’m taking pictures for my blog or making funny videos with my best friend.

I mostly use social media these days as a learning tool and to promote my blog. I don’t feel sad  or compare myself to people on social media anymore. Whenever I see a picture of them going on vacations doing things I just say, “Oh nice” and keep it moving. I just don’t have the time for that. You know what I’m saying? A girl’s got an empire to build.

Life is a journey, enjoy the ride. Don’t spend your life comparing yourself to others when you should be living it. You only live once. XOXO

What did you think of this post? Did you enjoy it? What’s your relationship with social media? Is it good? Is it bad?. Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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How to be Happier

People might think that happiness is elusive, it’s not. Just because you’ve had a lot of sad days, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be happy. Bad days don’t last. Yes, sometimes life  circumstances might occur that are out of our control, but happiness can be attained. God didn’t place us here, to wallow in sadness, he wants us to be happy. God says “Though weeping may endure for a night, Joy, comes in the morning”.

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I’ve often feel like I don’t deserve to be happy, or I shouldn’t feel happy because of this, or that. I used to feel so guilty. But you know what? Tell that voice to shut up. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. You deserve to laugh after all you have been through, you deserve that house, you deserve that new job. Stop feeling guilty because God wants you to be happy.

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How can someone feel happier? Well, here are some tips that help

Play an Upbeat Song– You know that song you like? Yeah, that one that makes you get up and dance? Yeah play that. And get up and dance. I like playing Cardi B’s “I like it”, to get me in the dancing mood or some of Kesha’s old songs. Dancing makes me happy.

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Go Outside– Fresh air, is good for the soul. If you’re feeling stuck or sad just go outside it will do wonders for you, try it out.

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Make Plans– Even something small like going to the movies to see that film that you’ve wanted to see with a friend will make you happier. I like going out at least once per month. If I don’t go out sometimes I start feeling blue.

Get off Social Media and Find Something to do– You wanna know something? Endlessly scrolling through social media is not healthy. Get up and go do something. Go call a friend or go for that run that you’ve been planning since last week. The only reason, I’m on social media so often these days, is because I have to keep up my engagement and for my blogging. I’ve deactivated my Facebook so many times in the past and honestly, I felt happier. Find a hobby, clean your house, that’ll make you feel better.

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Express Gratitude – Sometimes when I’m feeling blue, I  start listing off all the things i’m grateful for.I feel so much happier and lighter afterwards. I say things like “I’m grateful for my 10 toes”, “I’m grateful for the roof, over my head”, “God, thank you for my family, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have them”.

Be kind – One day, last year, when it was really cold, I helped this blind guy find the bus stop and I helped him get off the bus as well. I felt really good about that. I couldn’t stop thinking about how, if I wasn’t there, there would be no one to help him. That made me really happy that day. Sometimes the smallest acts  of kindness can do wonders for others and for your soul as well.

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Treat Yourself – Girl, go on that shopping spree, or go for that massage. This will break you out of that rut that you’re in.

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Let things go – Negativity isn’t good for anyone. That person that you hate from 3 years ago is enjoying their life and what are you doing? Hmm?. Holding on to things will only make you angry and unhealthy. If you don’t know how to let things go you will never be happy. Leave the past in the past.

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Be positive – My philosophy is that, a positive attitude always goes a long way. I say it to my coworkers all the time, and when I do I always feel like some motivational speaker or something LOL. But it does go a long way. Mindset is everything. The computer broke down at work? Still a good day. You forgot your jacket at home? Still a good day.

I’m not saying that you’ll never have bad days. In fact, happiness is something that you have to work on consistently. I’m also not saying you’re going to be walking around giggling all day. But, happiness is a choice. You can choose to be Happy or wallow in sadness. Choose Happiness. Life is too short to not be HAPPY.

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My Fight With Depression

I’ve been depressed for the longest time but it’s not something that many people know because I’ve never really talked about it. People would always say things like “Oh you’re so happy”, but little did they know, that I was not.

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So, what is depression? Depression is defined as ” A state of feeling sad; marked by feelings of hopelessness, inactivity and dejection”. I remember feeling depressed at 18 because my life wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I felt so hopeless. I would sleep all day and wake up at 4 pm at times.

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At one point, I even tried cutting myself. I had thoughts of killing myself daily. At church or around my friends I would pretend as if I was fine but I wasn’t. Fast forward to 2012 when things became worse.

That year, my mom had a manic episode. She had just come home from church in hysterics which was very baffling. We really weren’t expecting that, at all. My mom had never displayed any signs of mental illness, so to see her behaving like that was a shock to my system. My dad called the pastor and he came and prayed for her and she eventually calmed down and went to sleep. We had no idea what to do so we left her for a bit.

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On my birthday, I went shopping with my best friend and then she decided to come home with me because I had plans to go to dinner later. When I came home, my mom didn’t know who I was so she started cursing at me and told my best friend to get out because we were lesbians. She then proceeded to run after my friend and I, so my friend decided to leave. After my friend left my mom tried to run after me as well so I ran to my room and locked it. I waited until she was calm and then I left the house and went to the Mcdonalds washroom to change for my dinner. I didn’t want to disappoint my friends and the only person who knew what was going on was my best friend. I was really sad and scared. The next day, I told my dad that something had to be done because my mom was only getting worse. To sum it all up, my mom was taken to the hospital by police escorts and diagnosed with Paranoid schizophrenia. I was really sad during that time. I didn’t want to live. I felt the lowest of low. The person who I knew to be my mom was no longer there. I was devastated. I felt like my world was over.

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I didn’t actually start feeling better, until 2 years ago. A friend of mine, invited me out, to a movie called ” Collateral Beauty”. In it, the main character loses his daughter and he just stops living, but then, some of his friends came up with a plan to help him get better. One quote that stood out to me was ” Just be sure to notice the collateral beauty. It’s the profound connection to everything”. This made me think about everything that I had been through and that I had a purpose in life. It taught me to never give up on myself. Did I have depressive episodes after that and did my mom have manic episodes after that? Absolutely, but I learned to fight through the feelings.

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Here are some tips that helped me to fight my depression

  • Be active- Whenever I feel depressed I like to go for a run. Running clears my head and helps me feel less sluggish. I run for 15 mins and do other exercises to get my blood pumping. Do what you can.
  • Don’t Isolate yourself- I used to isolate myself all the time whenever I felt depressed but I realized it only made me feel worse. Confide in a friend, or, when your friends invite you out, don’t say no. You’ll feel a little better trust me, I know.
  • Do things that you once liked to do- If you once liked to draw, go draw. Sitting on the couch doing nothing will only make you feel worse.

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The point of this blog post is to share my story and let you know that there is hope. You can survive depression. I am not a victim, I’m a Survivor! Hope this helps someone out there.

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