As the year closes I can’t help but reflect on 2018 and just be grateful to God for all that he has done for me. As… Read more “Gratefulness = Happiness”
Hi Guys! How are you doing? I feel like I haven’t written anything on the advice and stories part of my blog in a minute. But it’s… Read more “Healing From Trauma”
Hi, guys it’s been a while since I have updated the Advice and Stories part of my blog. I missed you all so much! Welcome back!
Today’s blog post is titled, “We Don’t Talk Anymore”.
There’s this new show called “A Million Little Things”, have you seen it? It’s so good! The premise of the show is that ‘there are a group of friends who are intertwined in each other’s lives, realize that they need to start living until one of them suddenly dies by suicide”.
During one of the episodes, (Sorry, spoiler alert) after their friend dies, the group of guys go to a football game and the guy named Gary says this,
“I spent almost 950 hours sitting next to John and I had no idea that he was depressed. Did you? Did you?NO! You want to know why? Because we don’t talk. The last time we said anything deep was when we were in that elevator. We were more honest with each other before we were friends. Now we do this. We sit shoulder to shoulder like guys, what we’re doing right now and the truth, the very sad truth is that we don’t really know each other”.
This really hit home for me, “We don’t talk”. I mean how many of us really talk to our friends? I mean, really really talk to our friends?You know, when you’re in a really depressing state, or you tell them some deep dark secret?. And I am guilty of this too, because I don’t really talk to a lot of my friends. I have 100 contacts in my phone and I rarely ever take up the phone and say, “This is what’s going on”. Sometimes I’ll wait till when the anxiety takes over, and that’s when I’ll start talking.
And I’m not saying that you have to tell your friends every single detail that happens in your life, because that’s just impossible. If we talked more don’t you think less people would be depressed and suicidal because they would have people to talk to? And yes, I know that even with people to talk to, some people still take their lives. And yes, I know it’s not your job to be you friends therapist. I know, but it’s more healing to talk about things than to hold them in.
I have my moments too, where everyone thinks I’m so happy but underneath it all I’m so sad. Because I don’t want to burden my friends with my problems. And sometimes I really don’t want to talk about it. And there’s the reverse too where my mind is so much on my problems that I don’t even notice my friends sadness. Which is really bad.
But sometimes, get off social media! Get off Instagram and Facebook and pick up the phone and call your friend. Ask them how they’re doing! Sometimes send them a text. Hang out with your friends and forget your phones! Get to know them again! You never know what someone is going through.
I know, you can’t be there for all of your friends, because who really can? But make the effort! And yes I know that not every friend can handle depressing stories, but find the ones who can.
After all, if you don’t talk to your friend, who can you really talk to? Who do you have to talk to?
What did you think of this post? Are you someone who picks up the phone and calls your friend or do you like to keep things to yourself?
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“Finding my purpose was so easy”, said no one ever. I mean, if it was so easy everyone would know what they wanted to do. Everyone would… Read more “Advice : How to Find Your Purpose”
Who watches Bachelor in Paradise? Did you see the finale? Yes, I know that it’s a reality tv show but I couldn’t help but say to myself “Wow I can relate”. Dating these days isn’t what it used to be, it makes me feel disgusted to be honest. Dating in 2018 is like stabbing yourself repeatedly with a butter knife…. Harsh but true… Keep reading to find out why
So lets dissect these guys in this age
1.These guys just want to hook up – Guys these days don’t even want to get to know you, they just want to get in your pants. About 2 months ago, I went on a first date with this guy, and all he kept talking about was sex, sex, sex. I was so disgusted and turned off. I just deleted his number afterwards.
2. They tell you you’re great and you’re the best thing, but they still don’t want you – I remember watching Kevin from Bachelor in Paradise telling Astrid that she was the best but he still broke up with her. Then she said “I’m so tired of guys saying that they like me so much and I’m the best but they always end up breaking up with me”. I was like “Yass I can relate”.I mean just shut up and don’t say anything. I’d rather not hear that bs, thank you. Guys say this to me so much.
3. They don’t make any effort – Don’t ask me out if you’re not going to make the effort. Just forget the thought. If you’re not going to take me out on dates, pick me up, show some effort then don’t bother. If you feel lazy, then don’t bother asking me out. What’s the point? I want someone who shows me that he likes me. This guy told me recently that he felt too lazy to pick me up for a date, so I said to him don’t bother. I mean why?
4. Guys in 2018 are players – I mean guys in every age are players but in 2018 it seems more rampant. A couple of months ago I invited this guy I was seeing to Afro fest Mind you, he claimed to be really into me, so I decided to give him a chance. He said he would be there by 5pm but I waited till 6 to ask him where he was. Then he said he was 20 mins away. I waited until 9 pm and he still didn’t show up. Then I left the fest. When I came home, he didn’t provide and explanation or anything. And then the next day I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. Then he called me and claimed that he lost his wallet and “Oh I thought you were enjoying the fest, I didn’t think you would want to see me”. My conclusion was that he was there hooking up with other girls.
5. Guys in 2018 are Assholes – Do you guys remember when Kamil broke up with Annaliese for Bachelor In Paradise over national TV. What kind of asshole move was that? One guy called me a bitch after he was trying to lecture me about stupidness and I told him not to yell at me. It’s like could you wait to show your bad side? I just met you.
Disclaimer – I’m not saying ALL guys are like this, but some of the ones that I’ve gone out with are like this.
Yes, so this is Dating in 2018, for me. Maybe it’s great for you guys but for me it hasn’t been. But I’m happy for these experiences. They’ve taught me so much about myself and what I want.
And yes, I know some people might be saying, “Oh you’re so picky”, but you know what? I don’t care. You SHOULD be picky, not everyone should get to know you. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
YOU DESERVE THE BEST!Remember that!
Ad if someone isn’t treating you right Kick them to the Curb. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Because in the end you’re only going to hurt yourself
And yes, I know I sound entitled as hell but I don’t care. YOU SHOW PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. People will only treat you bad if you allow them.
And don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting the best.
Also, sometimes you see red flags and sometimes you don’t, but again these are all lessons. Lessons that will help you grow and figure out the kind of person that You Do Want.
Conclusion – Dating in 2018 sucks. Maybe I should build myself a time machine and go back to the 90’s when guys used to be gentlemen and open doors for Women. Do guys like that even exist in today’s age? I can only hope, for my sake, LOL. I’m not worried though, I have all the time in the world, there’s no rush.
Did you enjoy this post? Comment below. Let me know what you think.
I know I’ve kinda been slacking on this part of my blog but with Work, youtube, creating looks for my fashion blog etc, it has been a lot. And I’ve also been really depressed for the past 2 weeks but I’m feeling a lot better now. I just want to be honest with you all.
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