Random Thoughts : How does Social Media Really Make you feel?


fullsizeoutput_157eDo you spend a lot of time on social media or none at all? Do you spend hours scrolling through Facebook checking out what Sandy is doing? How does it make you feel? Do you feel happy, do you feel sad? Does it make you feel anxious or calm? I’ve had my issues with social media in the past, and it stinks. Keep reading to find out more about my history with social media. Story Time!

I first signed up for Facebook, maybe in 2009, I wasn’t one of those people who was into social media, it was as if it didn’t exist to me. I preferred face to face contact, but my friends roped me into getting it, so I eventually caved and signed up. Bro, I became so addicted. It was like Facebook became my life. It was annoying actually, even when there was nothing on it, I’d be online. Don’t get me started on Instagram. Whew Chile!

I started to see the negative effects that social media had on my psyche in 2015. I would be on Facebook seeing people going on vacations, living their best life, or what appeared to be their best life, and I would start to feel so depressed. I started to feel less than. I felt like I had nothing going on in my life. Sometimes I would hide people’s posts so I wouldn’t have to see what they were doing. It was a really tough time for me.

Eventually, decided to deactivate my Facebook for a whole year. I chose Facebook because this was where everyone would be posting the most back then. I didn’t deactivate Instagram but I began to post less. That year, was very therapeutic for me. I learned to focus on my own life and find joy in that. There was so much that I missed out on, simply because I was so focused on Facebook.

During that year I learned  enjoy moments more and be present. It was so refreshing! That’s when I think I developed my love for photography.

After the year, I felt better about social media, so I decided to reactive my Facebook account and I started posting on Instagram again. I had a better relationship with social media. I didn’t let other people’s posts affect how I felt about myself. I felt great.I feel great even now. Now I can log into any social media platforms and feel fine.

The lesson in all this? Don’t compare your life to others. You don’t know their backstory, you don’t know how they got there. Comparison only makes you feel sick. Everyone is on a different journey. Some people have to work extremely hard, some people have parents who help them out, some people are rich, some people have sugar daddies. Haha.Or, some people just pretend to have it all together. Your journey is your own, focus on your own path and build on that.

Also,it’s good to unplug sometimes. I’m not saying to do a year like I did. Unplug for a couple hours, or a day. Go out in nature. Enjoy life. Be present. Something that I try to do when I go out with friends is, to be off my phone. I only really go on, if I’m taking pictures for my blog or making funny videos with my best friend.

I mostly use social media these days as a learning tool and to promote my blog. I don’t feel sad  or compare myself to people on social media anymore. Whenever I see a picture of them going on vacations doing things I just say, “Oh nice” and keep it moving. I just don’t have the time for that. You know what I’m saying? A girl’s got an empire to build.

Life is a journey, enjoy the ride. Don’t spend your life comparing yourself to others when you should be living it. You only live once. XOXO

What did you think of this post? Did you enjoy it? What’s your relationship with social media? Is it good? Is it bad?. Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Random Thoughts : Is Ghosting Ever OK?

Is Ghosting ever OK? Do you know what ghosting is?Have you ever been Ghosted before?For those who are unfamiliar with the term ,”Ghosting” (Maybe you live under a rock?),  is the act, of suddenly ceasing communication with someone the subject is dating but no longer wishes to date, according to the Urban Dictionary.

So now it’s Story time!

I once went out with this guy, (I won’t give out his name, I know how ya’ll are nosey). I really liked him and I don’t like a lot of guys that much. He was the sweetest, kindest person. I initially didn’t like him, because he wasn’t really my type, but he would always compliment me on my style and he would always flirt with me. Then I observed that we seemed to have a lot in common, so I decided to give him a chance.

We would spend hours just talking on the phone and it would never get boring. I felt like he just got me, you know?. Ladies, have you ever felt that way before?

We would text and call each other all the time, but then he just ghosted me. How did I know he ghosted me? Well, I texted him one day, and no answer, then I texted on the weekend, no answer. I even texted him a week later, just to make sure, but still no response.

I was so hurt because I really did like him a lot and I could see us going longterm. I guess I was the only one thinking that?

He didn’t respond till 6 months later. To say that I was surprised, is an understatement. I was like, “What? Who is this?”. I asked him why he did it, and he said “It had nothing to do with you, just some personal issues”. I told him that him ghosting me made me really sad and to never do it again. And we went out again after that because I forgave him but it didn’t last, but that story, is for another time

How did it make me feel? Really sad because I felt like this guy, just really wasted my time and my biggest pet peeve is people wasting my time. I felt really inadequate, like I wasn’t enough. I really felt like I wasn’t even worth a goodbye.

How did I recover? I just decided to move on with my life and forget about him. Because if he had really cared about me, he would have never done that to me. I just decided to focus on other things.

Is it ever Ok to ghost someone you’re dating or anyone for that matter? I don’t think so. Yeah, everyone has issues, everyone is going through some difficult time. Yes I get that everyone handles situations differently, but what about treating people with respect? What about communicating?

It’s like this generation doesn’t know how to communicate anymore. We hide how we feel, and expect people to read our minds, but guess what? Only God can read minds, remember that.

And yes, I get that you might be going through stuff and you might want to use ghosting as a form of escapism, but let the person know. You know, just say to your significant other, “Hun, I’m not trying to be rude, but I need some time out”, or something. Don’t just leave someone in the dark not knowing what’s going on.

Hint : We won’t get the hint that you’re no longer interested until you tell us. So ghosting is an absolute waste of time. If you ghost people, you’re an ass. Yeah, I said it. So immature!

I know that him ghosting me, had nothing to do with me, I get that, but maybe give ya girl a warning before hand?

I think ghosting is really selfish. If you no longer like the person, tell them. If you want some alone time, tell them.

Lack of communication is why there are so many issues in the world today. That’s why there are so many instances of divorce all over.Be open, be sincere. If you don’t like someone, speak up.

Don’t leave someone in the dark because of your selfish ways.

I’m just sharing my experience with ghosting today XOXO

Have you ever been ghosted before? How did it make you feel?

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